Season One, Episode Three: “Kill Me Now”

Season 1, episode 3: “Kill Me Now”
Original air date: 19 October 2000
Directed by: Adam Nimoy
Written by: Joanne T. Waters

Summary: Rory goes golfing with Richard. Lorelai is perturbed by Rory’s deepening bond with her grandparents and her amenability to their lifestyle.

Note: My timestamps are based on the series DVDs, which include a “previously on Gilmore Girls” montage at the beginning of some episodes. Netflix timestamps may be a minute or so behind my own.

On this page: All References in Chronological Order | References Sorted by Category | Frequent References | Image Credits | Indigenous Land Acknowledgment

All References in Chronological Order

04:20 – 🪶 reference
RICHARD: Physical fitness is as important as intellectual fitness. So says Plato. And so say I.

There is a quotation popularly attributed to the Ancient Greek philosopher Plato: “In order for a man to succeed in life, God provided him with two means, education and physical activity. Not separately, one for the soul and the other for the body, but for the two together.” This passage often appears in meme form or in self-help resources without reference to a source text.
A deleted user in the r/askphilosophy subreddit suggests it may be a corruption of Republic 411e: “It seems there are two arts which I would say some god gave to mankind, music and gymnastics for the service of the high-spirited principle and the love of knowledge in them–not for the soul and the body except incidentally, but for the harmonious adjustment of these two principles” (Tufts University). Richard has no doubt read Plato’s Republic (written circa 375 BCE), so he may be referring to this passage.

06:25 – 🎥 reference
EMILY: If Rory goes and has a good time without you, then I win.
LORELAI: Okay, Bob Barker.

Bob Barker (born Robert Barker, 1923-2023) hosted the CBS game show The Price Is Right from 1972 through his retirement in 2007. On the show, contestants compete to win cash and prizes by accurately guessing the prices of merchandise. It is the longest-running game show in the United States.
Barker’s famous catchphrase, which he says when selecting contestants from the studio audience, is, “Come on down!” An animal-rights supporter, he is also known for closing episodes by urging viewers to spay and neuter their pets.

07:55 – ⭐ reference
LORELAI: I’d rather get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you.

Jocelyn Wildenstein (born Jocelyne Périsset, 1945/1946) is a Swiss socialite known for her strange catlike appearance, for which media outlets have dubbed her “Catwoman,” “The Lion Queen,” and “The Bride of Wildenstein.” She denies having had extensive facial procedures and claims her ex-husband exaggerated that narrative in the midst of their divorce; she insists her cheekbones and eye shape are imparted mostly naturally by her Swiss heritage (Paper Magazine).
Wildenstein is also known for her high-profile 1999 divorce from billionaire businessman Alec Wildenstein and subsequent bankruptcy filing.

08:50 – 🏷️ reference
MRS. SHALES: Now go away. My Advil is wearing off.

Advil (ibuprofen) is an over-the-counter non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) used to alleviate mild to moderate pain, as well as fever and inflammation. Headache, menstrual cramps, and rheumatoid arthritis are common ailments for which Advil might be used.

Still from Spy Kids (2001) showing Antonio Banderas with dark, slicked back hair, trim mustache, and leather jacket. — Antonio Banderas as seen in *Spy Kids* (2001). See image credits [1].

09:30 – ⭐ reference
LORELAI: Why don’t you go up to your room and have a fabulous bubble bath, and I’ll send up some wine and a masseuse who bears a remarkable resemblance to Antonio Banderas?

Antonio Banderas (born José Antonio Domínguez Bandera, 1960) is a Spanish actor, producer, and director. At the time this episode aired, he had appeared in a number of Hollywood films, including Philadelphia (1993), Interview with the Vampire (1994), Evita (1996), and The Mask of Zorro (1998).
Technically, a masseuse is a female massage therapist, and a masseur is a male one. However, either term can have iffy connotations due to the use of “massage parlors” as fronts for illegal sex work operations (Massage Magazine).

10:30 – 🎥 reference
LORELAI: You don’t care at all, do you?
MICHEL: To me, you are the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoon.

Charles Schulz’s Peanuts comic strip is populated by a cast of children, the central one being Charlie Brown. Adults are rarely seen, and in the television specials based on the comics, they exist solely off screen; they are represented only by unintelligible speech created using a trombone (A.V. Club).
The distorted speech effect was first used in the 1967 special You’re in Love, Charlie Brown. Examples can be heard in It Was a Short Summer, Charlie Brown (1969) and You’re a Good Sport, Charlie Brown (1975).

11:05 – 🏷️ reference
LORELAI: It’s like a really snooty Doublemint commercial.

Doublemint is a US brand of peppermint-flavored chewing gum produced by the Wrigley Company since 1914. In 1939, Wrigley launched an advertising campaign starring a pair of identical twins, a play on the “double” in the brand name.
The twins were illustrated in print advertisements until 1959 when 21-year-olds Jayne and Joan Knoerzer were hired to play them. They have been portrayed since by numerous sets of twins, including Linda Puffers and Lisa Winters, who had the longest run from 1985 to 1995. Nicole and Natalie Garza were cast as Doublemint twins in 2005 and, coincidentally, have a guest spot on Gilmore Girls later in the series.

12:55 – ⚽ reference
EMILY: Now you look just like Tiger Woods.

Eldrick “Tiger” Woods (born 1975) is a professional US golfer. He is “widely regarded as one of the greatest golfers of all time and is one of the most famous athletes in modern history. He is an inductee of the World Golf Hall of Fame” (Wikipedia).
As far as I can tell, Woods has never worn a hat like the one Emily gives to Rory in this scene; he regularly wears the brimmed, baseball-style cap typical of golfers. He has frequently worn apparel by Nike, with whom he had an endorsement deal from 1996 to 2024.

13:20 – 🗺️ reference
RORY: Is it hard to become a member here?
RICHARD: Everyone has to go through a thorough screening process.
RORY: Kind of like the FBI?
RICHARD: Oh, much more thorough than that.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is the United States’ domestic security service and its principal federal law-enforcement agency. The FBI is not to be confused with the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), the United States’ foreign intelligence service (similar to the distinction between MI5 and MI6 in the United Kingdom). Like CIA operatives, FBI agents are specially vetted and trained due to the classified nature of their work.
The FBI has been the subject of many controversies, including but not limited to surveillance of private citizens and covert operations on political groups, including the harassment, psychological manipulation, and assassination of political activists. The agency is especially notorious for its activities under J. Edgar Hoover, who directed the FBI from 1924 until his death in 1972.

13:55 – 📖 reference
RICHARD: Now, what do you know about golf?
RORY: That it’s a good walk spoiled?

The witticism about golf being “a good walk spoiled” is commonly, though apocryphally, attributed to Mark Twain. Though the sentiment has been in circulation in some form since the early 20th century (within Twain’s lifetime), it was not until 1948 (38 years after his death) that it was attributed to him in an article in the Saturday Evening Post (Center for Mark Twain Studies). Twain is a widely quoted humorist, and the saying seems consistent with his tone, so it’s not difficult to see how it might be believable as one of his own.
Though Twain is not mentioned here by name, he is mentioned in the pilot.

15:40 – 🪶 reference
SOOKIE: There’s no such thing.
JACKSON: Hey, the world was flat until someone took a boat trip.

It is a popular misconception that Europeans of the Middle Ages believed in a flat earth, and that Christopher Columbus discovered otherwise. In fact, the idea of a spherical earth had been proposed as early as antiquity, and it was common knowledge to sailors of Columbus’s time.
The myth of widespread flat-earth belief can be traced to 17th-century anti-Catholic sentiment. The story goes that Columbus made his exploratory voyage in spite of opposition from regressive Catholic churchmen. This account was popularized in the 19th century by Washington Iriving’s A History of the Life and Voyages of Christopher Columbus (1828) and was later used in popular debate to epitomize conflict between science and religion.

15:50 – 🏷️ mention
SOOKIE: How about a Polaroid?

Polaroid is a US brand of instant film cameras. Unlike traditional film, which has to be processed manually in a darkroom or professional photo lab, Polaroid film is self-developing. The photographer simply points and shoots, a square of film is ejected from the camera, and a photo develops within minutes.

17:25 – 🏷️ mention
SOOKIE: That one has a Post-it on its back.

Post-it is a US brand of sticky notes produced by the 3M Company. In US English, the term “Post-it” has become a generic trademark, or proprietary eponym: “a trademark or brand name that, because of its popularity or significance, has become a generic term for, or synonymous with, a general class of products or services” (Wikipedia). Legally, “Post-it” is a registered trademark, but it is often used to refer to any sticky note, regardless of brand.

19:30 – 🗺️ mention
RICHARD: Any particular place you’d like to go?
RORY: Hundreds of places. Paris, Rome, London, Prague, Istanbul, Fez. Have you ever been to Fez?

Rory mentions the capital cities Paris, France; Rome, Italy; London, United Kingdom; and Prague, Czech Republic; as well as Istanbul, a major city in Turkey (the capital is Ankara). Rome was also mentioned in episode two.
Fez or Fes (Arabic: فاس, Berber: ⴼⴰⵙ, French: Fès) is the second-largest city (after Casablanca) in the North African country of Morocco. Often referred to as the country’s cultural capital, Fez is home to the world’s oldest continually operating university, the University of Al Quaraouiyine, founded in 859.
The cylindrical, felt article of headwear known as the fez is also named for the city.

23:50 – 🗺️ mention
MICHEL: I was attacked by a band of swans in the Luxembourg Gardens when I was a boy.

The Jardin du Luxembourg (English: Luxembourg Garden) is located in Paris, France. It was created in 1612 and occupies the grounds around the Luxembourg Palace.

23:55 – 🎧 reference
LORELAI: Oh, no. Not being attacked by a band of swans. Was it an all-boy band? Kind of a scary, feathery NSYNC kind of fiasco?

NSYNC (stylized *NSYNC) is a US vocal group formed in 1995. Their first two studio albums were both certified Diamond and featured hit singles like “Bye Bye Bye” and “It’s Gonna Be Me,” both released in 2000. The band’s name incorporates the last letter of each founding member’s first name, though one of the Ns (original bass singer Jason Galasso) was later replaced by Lance Bass. Justin Timberlake, the youngest member of the group and one of the lead singers, went on to have a successful solo career.
Unlike other bands that may also feature all-male lineups, boy bands are vocal groups, specifically; they do not play instruments and instead perform choreographed dances. Their members are usually young, in their teens and 20s, and they are known for singing love songs marketed toward a young, female audience.

24:10 – 🎥 reference
DRELLA: Hey, Pepé Le Pew, you wanna give me a hand with this?

Pepé Le Pew is a character from the Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoon series by Warner Bros. He is depicted as a striped skunk with a French accent (as seen in this clip from the 1955 short Two Scent’s Worth) and made his first appearance in the 1945 short Odor-able Kitty.

25:00 – 🎥 reference
RORY: It’s a conspiracy.
RICHARD: It’s Peyton Place.

Peyton Place (1964-1969) is a US nighttime soap opera “set in the small New England town of Peyton Place, whose quaint charm masks a complicated web of extramarital affairs, shady business deals, scandals, even murder” (Rotten Tomatoes). The series is loosely based on Grace Metalious’s 1956 novel of the same name and was preceded by a 1957 film adaptation. The series is credited with “mark[ing] the birth of the prime time American soap opera” (Wikipedia).
Mia Farrow (star of Rosemary’s Baby, mentioned in the pilot) was part of the original main cast but left shortly after the series premiered.

29:05 – 🎧 feature
Miss Patty gives the bridal couples a dance lesson outside the Independence Inn. “La Casa” by Graham Preskett and Mauricio Venegas-Astorga is the song they practice to.

The song comes from the 1996 album Sabor Y Salsa.

30:25 – 🎧 mention
MRS. SHALES: Now, Jackie wants Samuel Barber, John Cage, and Philip Glass, and Jessica wants Shania Twain’s “I Feel Like a Woman.”

Samuel Barber (1910-1981), John Cage Jr. (1912-1992), and Philip Glass (born 1937) are all highly influential 20th-century US composers. Notable works include Barber’s 1936 Adagio for Strings and Cage’s 1952 4’33”, which consists of four minutes and 33 seconds of ambient sound (i.e. no composed music at all). Glass has composed operas, symphonies, chamber music, and film scores, three of which have been nominated for Academy Awards.
“Man! I Feel Like a Woman!” is a country pop song by Canadian singer-songwriter Shania Twain. It was released on her 1997 album Come On Over.

32:00 – 📖 mention
LORELAI: What book was it?
RORY: Mencken’s Chrestomathy.

A Mencken Chrestomathy: His Own Selection of His Choicest Writings is a 1949 collection of writings chosen, edited, and annotated by the author, Henry Louis “H. L.” Mencken. Mencken was a social and cultural commentator of his time, and “his satirical reporting on the Scopes Trial, which he dubbed the ‘Monkey Trial’, also gained him attention” (Wikipedia).
The word “chrestomathy” can refer to either “a selection of passages used to help learn a language” or “a volume of selected passages or stories of an author” (Merriam-Webster). Mencken is also known for The American Language (1919), a multi-volume study of US English, but his Chrestomathy obviously refers to the latter definition.

32:25 – 🎧 mention + 🏷️ mention
BABETTE: He must have been meowing for an hour, but Morey was playing some Thelonious on the Steinway.

Thelonious Monk (1917-1982) was a US jazz pianist and composer. Many of his compositions, including “‘Round Midnight,” “Blue Monk,” and “Straight, No Chaser,” are now jazz standards. He is the second-most recorded jazz composer after Duke Ellington.
Steinway & Sons is a high-end US piano company. It was founded in 1853 by German piano-maker Heinrich Engelhard Steinweg, who would come to be known as Henry E. Steinway.

32:40 – 🎧 feature
Babette tells Morey to “play her home,” and he plays “Teach Me Tonight” by Gene De Paul and Sammy Cahn on the piano as she returns from Lorelai’s house. The song continues faintly in the background of Lorelai and Rory’s argument.

This song is a jazz standard with music by De Paul and lyrics by Cahn. Originally published in 1953, it has been recorded by many artists, with Dinah Washington’s 1954 rendition being one of the most notable; it was inducted into the Grammy Hall of Fame in 1999.

33:05 – ⭐ mention
LORELAI: So, you know what I was thinking?
RORY: That Madonna and Sean Penn should get remarried?

Madonna (born Madonna Louise Ciccone, 1958) is a US singer, songwriter, and actor, and Sean Penn (born 1960) is a US actor and filmmaker. The two met and married in 1985. In 1989, Madonna filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. Both have since been remarried, though not to each other.
Claims that Penn physically abused Madonna during their marriage have circulated for years. In 2015, Madonna denounced the allegations as “completely outrageous, malicious, reckless, and false” (Wikipedia).

36:25 – 🏷️ reference
LORELAI: If the country club life is what she wants, more power to her, right? You know, little white gloves and coming-out parties? That makes some girls happy, right?
SOOKIE: Sure. If they’re on Prozac, absolutely.

Prozac (fluoxetine) is an antidepressant medication prescribed to treat clinical depression, as well as some anxiety and eating disorders. It belongs to the class of drugs known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs).
Elizabeth Wurtzel’s 1994 memoir Prozac Nation, which recounts her experiences with atypical depression, was culturally influential around this time. A film adaptation directed by Erik Skjoldbjærg and starring Christina Ricci was released in 2001.

37:30 – 🎧 feature
The band plays a cover of “A Kiss to Build a Dream On” by Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby, and Oscar Hammerstein II as the wedding guests and newly married couples dance.

This song was originally called “Moonlight on the Meadow” and was written in 1935 for use in the Marx Brothers film A Night at the Opera. However, the song was not used, and Hammerstein adapted the lyrics to be “A Kiss to Build a Dream On.” Louis Armstrong recorded the song in 1951.
Hammerstein was one half of the famed musical-theatre writing duo Rodgers and Hammerstein along with composer Richard Rodgers.

38:35 – 🗺️ mention
MRS. SHALES: They just told me they’re going to share a condo in Tucson, Arizona. That’s hundreds of miles away!

Tucson is the second-largest city in the state of Arizona after Phoenix. It is in the Southwestern United States, placing it diagonally opposite Connecticut, located in the Northeast. Tucson is located in the ancestral land of the Tohono O’odham, who “consider themselves to be direct descendants of the Hohokam and earlier peoples” (Visit Tucson). The name Tucson derives from the O’odham Cuk Ṣon, “commonly translated into English as ‘(at the) base of the black [hill]'” (Wikipedia).

38:45 – 🎧 feature
MRS. SHALES: Oh! Sister Sledge! Excuse me.

“We Are Family” begins to play as Mrs. Shales converses with Lorelai, and she rushes off to dance. The song continues in the background during Lorelai and Rory’s reconciliation. The scene closes on Mrs. Shales and her daughters and sons-in-law dancing a conga line.

This song comes from the 1979 album of the same name.

41:35 – 🏷️ mention
EMILY: You brought us used dessert?
LORELAI: It’s not used. It’s left over.
EMILY: How nice. I’ll just put it in the kitchen next to my half-empty box of Cheer.

Cheer is a US brand of laundry detergent produced by Procter & Gamble. It was first introduced in 1950.

42:00 – 🎥 mention
EMILY: I mean, in this age of MTV and a hundred television channels, who would have imagined that a young girl could still get a thrill spending a simple afternoon with her grandfather?

MTV (an abbreviation of Music Television) is a US cable channel launched in 1981. “The channel originally aired music videos and related programming as guided by television personalities known as video jockeys, or VJs. … In the years since its inception, it significantly toned down its focus on music in favor of original reality programming for teenagers and young adults” (Wikipedia).

42:40 – 📖 mention
RICHARD: Not only did I find that copy of Mencken’s Chrestomathy we discussed, I also found a first edition of his memoirs as well.

H. L. Mencken’s autobiography, known as the Days trilogy, comprises three volumes: Happy Days, 1880-1892 (1940), Newspaper Days, 1899-1906 (1941), and Heathen Days, 1890-1936 (1943). Mencken’s Chrestomathy was mentioned earlier at 32:00.

43:00 – 🎧 feature
“Here They Go” by Sam Phillips plays as Richard, Emily, and Rory go to look at H. L. Mencken’s autobiography, leaving Lorelai alone sipping her wine.

According to the Amazon track listing, a full version of this song is included on the 2002 soundtrack Our Little Corner of the World: Music from Gilmore Girls. Phillips was also featured in the pilot and in episode two.

References Sorted by Category

🏷️ Brand Names

08:50 – Advil (over-the-counter drug)
11:05 – Doublemint (chewing gum)
15:50 – Polaroid (camera)
17:25 – Post-it (sticky note)
32:25 – Steinway & Sons (piano)
36:25 – Prozac (prescription drug)
41:35 – Cheer (laundry detergent)

⭐ Famous Figures

07:55 – Jocelyn Wildenstein (socialite)
09:30 – Antonio Banderas (actor)
33:05 – Madonna (singer and actor)
33:05 – Sean Penn (actor and filmmaker)

🎥 Film, Television & Theater

06:25 – The Price Is Right (television game show), Bob Barker (television host)
10:30 – Peanuts (television specials), Charlie Brown (character)
24:10 – Looney Tunes (cartoon series), Pepé Le Pew (character)
25:00 – Peyton Place (television show)
42:00 – MTV (television channel)

🗺️ Geography & Politics

13:20 – Federal Bureau of Investigation (law enforcement agency)
19:30 – Paris, France (European city)
19:30 – Rome, Italy (European city)
19:30 – London, United Kingdom (European city)
19:30 – Prague, Czech Republic (European city)
19:30 – Istanbul, Turkey (Asian city)
19:30 – Fez, Morocco (African city)
23:50 – Luxembourg Garden (garden in Paris, France)
38:35 – Tucson, Arizona (US city)

🪶 History

04:20 – Plato’s Republic (classical text)
15:40 – Christopher Columbus (navigator), flat-earth belief (cosmological model)

📖 Literature

13:55 – “A good walk spoiled.” (apocryphal Mark Twain quotation)
32:00 – H. L. Mencken (journalist and essayist)
- 32:00 – A Mencken Chrestomathy: His Own Selection of His Choicest Writings (book)
- 42:40 – Days trilogy (book series)

🎧 Music

23:55 – NSYNC (boy band)
29:05 – “La Casa” by Graham Preskett and Mauricio Venegas-Astorga (song)
30:25 – Samuel Barber (composer)
30:25 – John Cage (composer)
30:25 – Philip Glass (composer)
30:25 – “Man! I Feel Like a Woman!” by Shania Twain (song)
32:25 – Thelonious Monk (pianist and composer)
32:40 – “Teach Me Tonight” by Gene De Paul and Sammy Cahn (song)
37:30 – “A Kiss to Build a Dream On” by Bert Kalmar, Harry Ruby, and Oscar Hammerstein II (song)
38:45 – “We Are Family” by Sister Sledge (song)
43:00 – “Here They Go” by Sam Phillips (song)

⚽ Sports

12:55 – Tiger Woods (golfer)

Frequent References

A few things come up so routinely in the show, I am not going to include an entry for them every time they do. I wrote about the following people, places, and things when they first appeared or were mentioned.

Image Credits

Image [1] is a still from Spy Kids. Directed by Robert Rodriguez, performance by Antonio Banderas, cinematography by Guillermo Navarro, Troublemaker Studios, Dimension Films, 2001.

Indigenous Land Acknowledgment

In beginning my work on this guide, I’ve come to realize just how many references (however subtle) the show contains to the Revolutionary War and the colonial history of the United States. It is important and necessary to acknowledge the people whose lands were usurped when these events took place, though this is not a simple matter. Please visit my land acknowledgment page to view the results of my research.

Posted 12 January 2021 (updated 16 April 2024)